The Woodlands Biotch

memorandum to the a$$hat that flipped me off today:
first of all, i address your speed - the limit on the parkway is 45. the flow of traffic was roughly 50. i was doing roughly 50. just because i was in the left hand lane, and you wanted to beat me to the light, does not give [...]

three showers. i’ve had to buy gifts for three showers this month - and only one of them is for a family member.
the problem with not wanting, needing or desiring having bundles of joy yourself is that everyone else bloody well expects you to gush over theirs. and in doing so, inevitibly ask when you’re [...]

knowing better than to always rail against a company for doing evil and expecting to not receive any backlash, i won’t name the particular offender by name - especially since i have lodged a complaint (well, for now, left a message, for what that’s worth) with the proper authorities.
but can i just say it was cruel [...]

saw the hangover with the boyfriend today. i’d heard it was going to be the funniest movie i’d see this year, regardless of the fact that the year’s barely half over. everyone told me i’d be doubled over in laughter, gasping for breath.
and i was! like, once. the rest of the time, i laughed pretty hard, [...]

could they have given it a worse name? granted, i thought “google” was weird for a long time, sure. but at least it’s a name for a thing, not just an expression of sound. and now it’s a verb. i don’t think bing will ever be a verb. especially since, every time i hear the [...]